Is There Real Philanthropy?

Altruism is one of the key topics in education, social and developmental psychology, and of course, humanity. I remembered that a colleague of mine and I were discussing if altruism really exists. Our consensus was NO.

A quote from Thoreau’s “Walden” was really thought-provoking:

“Philanthropy is almost the only virtue which is sufficiently appreciated by mankind. Nay, it is greatly overrated; and it is our selfishness which overrates it.”

The justification for the statement above is that a person acts altruistically towards the others so as to benefit from reciprocation, or simply to feel contented. Isn’t this selfish?

One may question if real philanthropy really doesn’t exist. An excerpt from Nietzsche’s “Thus Spoke Zarathustra” has given me some insights:

“You had not yet sought yourselves when you found me, Thus do all believers; therefore all belief is of so little account. Now I bid you lose me and find yourselves; and only when you have all denied me will I return to you. Truly, with other eyes, my brothers, I shall then seek my lost ones; with another love I shall then love you.”

After reading these, I’ve been ruminating on the nature of philanthropy lately. On one hand, reflecting on how I should “love” the people around me is something that everyone should do. On the other hand, as a teacher who was trained in a Confucian society, I literally hold a belief that I can even sacrifice my life for my students. This is a virtue very much appreciated by our society. But, is this philanthropy?

The answer I have constructed now is as follows:

To literally love a person, we need to learn to step back, walk out of his or her life, and watch them construct their belief system from a distance. According to education theories, we all learn that we need to provide guidance to our children, hand-in-hand and step-by-step. Yes, I would not deny that this is necessary when our children are below the age of eight, when they still follow the authority.

The frequently overlooked point is, however, that adults need to learn to step out of the children’s lives gradually and to encourage them break the existing systems of beliefs, which are oftentimes forcefully imposed. There’s a saying in Chinese—“The salt I ate is of a larger quantity than the rice you eat, kid”. I reckon that nearly all people who speak Cantonese have heard of this. Here, it is the adults who need to learn, not just the children.

Shall we all learn to let go? Not to let our loved ones go and to walk away without blinking an eye, but to watch the people we care from a distance. Let them deny us. Perhaps one day we will reunite again, all refreshed. Even if we won’t, it’s still fine. This is the real philanthropy, according to my definition.